Hi. I have to admit I am amazed a board like this exists, though in hindsight "Duh!". I couldn't possibly be the only person who felt like this. I was born and raised in what I now understand was a pentecostal environment. We never called it that, of course. We were "Nondenominational", said with pride, because we were suppossedly above the petty rivalries that made the other denominations different (nobody ever saw the irony in being The Organization Against Organization). I didn't even know what Pentecostal WAS until I stumbled on this forum, started reading things and suddenly lights started turning on.
I left the faith when I was 12. It was less of a "this is wrong and I should get out" than a massive "F you, God!". I knew I wasn't feeling what I was 'suppossed' to feel, so I figured there was something wrong with me and God didn't want me. I was taught that rejecting god was the unpardonable sin--once you did that you were damned for eternity. Well I figured I would rather rot in hell than submit to a god that didn't want me. I'm 25 now and I think that maybe deep down I still believe that, even though it doesn't make sense...
It's funny how I look at all the ways I'm effed up now and see how a lot of it started with, or was exhasperated by what I grew up in.
