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angelag90

need help

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Posts: 1

(11/03/08 19:20:15)

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So,
I kinda got into pentecostalism by chance, and let me tell you god did alot in my life! I have no hard feeling towards my well known pentecostal church, nor god or anyone in the congrgation. There was no hurt. Jyust purposless gossip, but nothing that scarred me just annoyed me.

But i have never up held the standards fully. and u know what i did ok. however i cant do it anymore. im tired of hiding things and living my life for others.
I need to taally break away and be confident but i dont know what kind of churh to goto!
any help is appreciated.
be positive tho please

lozza

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Posts: 3199

(11/04/08 01:39:09)

Musical Mantric

Hi Angelag,

I haven't a clue what to suggest, that's largely because most of us take a strong stance against Pentecostalism. I think you need to do what you think is the right thing.

But i have never up held the standards fully. and u know what i did ok. however i cant do it anymore. im tired of hiding things and living my life for others.

Pentecostalism tends to make some huge demands that most people find they can't meet.

Best wishes whatever you decide,

Lawrence

boustro

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Posts: 4072

(11/04/08 07:36:15)

There are some who call me .... Timmay!

Angelag!

It's a difficult thing to do, making a big change like this. Most of us have found it very helpful just to take a break from church altogether. Maybe for a short time, maybe a long time. In my case, I was out of church for about 2 years, I think.

And there's nothing wrong with that. It was drilled into us that we must be in church. Forsake not the assembling, etc. Yes, that's Bible, but even if you still believe in the Bible, there is plenty of room for interpretation of that one. It doesn't say how often, it doesn't say where or how or with whom. Meet with your familiy, if you like, or with a few friends over coffee. You think God designates church buildings as a special, anointed place, where He wants to meet with us every Sunday (twice, ideally, and again one or two or three times during the week)? I don't think so.

Don't be in a hurry to find another church. If you rush it, you may find yourself in another mismatch, maybe worse than before.

Find God on your own terms. Take a break. You deserve it. You need it! God will understand.

Tim

boustro

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Posts: 4073

(11/04/08 07:40:25)

There are some who call me .... Timmay!

Oh, it almost goes without saying (on this board, at least!), but stay away from Pentecostal or Charismatic churches. They're bogus.

Tim

holly

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Posts: 56

(11/04/08 13:53:57)

hey

not christian myself but have some suggestions.

Maybe try a few churches in your area and find out a bit about their beliefs, worship styles, the way they treat each other and so on and see where you feel most comfortable?
Or do some research online about different denominations and the things they emphasise (note individual churches can be very different within denominations tho).
If you know any chrisitans from other churches maybe ask them about them.

Things to think about where you feel most comfortable might include: whether you want a fundamentalist, moderate or libreral style church; teaching; the way people treat each other; whether disagreement and questions are considered ok; whether you prefer an informal or formal type service; worship styles; what opportunities you will have to serve in the church and what help you will have there and so on

i agree with Boustro theres no hurry to go back to church before you feel ready, meeting with other christian friends informally might be an alternative. but if you want to go do.

But i have never up held the standards fully. and u know what i did ok. however i cant do it anymore. im tired of hiding things and living my life for others.
was there anything specific that you are looking to find different standards/approaches in a different church? (absolutely dont feel you have to answer that if you dont want to).
One thing I'm learning a lot at the moment is that many churches can have less emphasis on rules, and there are also a wide variety of opinions on what exactly is ethical or not within christianity as well as outside it.

good luck whatever you decide to do

Lutherius

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Posts: 3584

(11/04/08 15:49:00)

Happy Reprobate

The first rule of integrity is to not put yourself in a position where you are "faking it."

Lutherius

"I cannot and I will not recant. Here I stand; I can do no other."

Martin Luther

Ex-Pentecostal Forums
Lutherius' Blog (Archived Essays)
Pentecostal Watchdog Society (Yahoo Allied Group)
derkrash@earthlink.net (My Personal Email)

nahkoe.xpo

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Posts: 11

(11/04/08 16:21:05)

Like boustro said, TAKE YOUR TIME. It's ok for this to take time, it's the journey that matters, not the destination (lol..yes I made a funny...)

It sounds like you're still interested in pursuing God, I'd suggest you find ways to do that and let the church thing sort itself out in time.

What is it that appeals to you about God? His character, nature? How interested are you in finding out more about whatever it is that appealed to you in the first place? I'm sure there are plenty of us here well enough studied in just about anything you could be interested in to provide direction and resources.

Are you interested in following a set doctrine, something a church or congregation/assembly/organization teaches, and living within a community of that nature? Or are you more interested in thinking outside the box and pursuing a path that you forge on your own?

I don't really expect you to answer all of these questions, I'm posing them for you. Another church is just as likely to be a poor fit unless you know what you're looking for going in. If you know what you're looking for, and have found it within yourself/within God outside of religion, even a church that's not a perfect fit can be a perfect church for you. Does that make sense?

And to repeat myself, it's ok to take your time and not jump into another congregation right away. I left church when I was 21. I walked into church again when I was 29, and I didn't stay in that UPC very long because I was very aware it wasn't for me shortly after I started attending. I'm now involved in a fellowship that fits me perfectly and challenges me to think and grow and be myself and pursue a personal relationship with God, not some cookie cutter doctrine. *I* need the challenge, if you need the cookie cutter I'm sure there are wonderful churches out there where you'd thrive...just take your time finding them so the cookie cutter doesn't start taking arms and legs off...kwim?

bootsiebabe

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Posts: 10759

(11/04/08 18:37:49)

Bending Light

Welcome!

"We are all enigma in the circle of life, being ever entwined with creative evolutional progress. All precious to behold for each our differences." -- M. Cheri B.

tandc90

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Posts: 660

(11/07/08 13:25:52)

exPc Fan

It is a journey that requires patience and a lot of it.

There are a lot of people here who've settled into more liturgical type of churches such as Presbyterians and Lutherans. These churches are not dead as we were told in pentecostalism but respectful from what I gather. You may want to try those. As someone else said, stay away from pente or charismatic churches. You'll only experience the same things in each and every one.

angelag90

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Posts: 2

(11/24/08 19:14:08)

you know I really feel like i am going to hell i need help finding a church.
I need someone to talk to and i cant check this blog every day.
I am so confused thank you all!

Lutherius

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Posts: 3629

(11/24/08 19:29:07)

Happy Reprobate

Think about this for a minute.

When a church has caused you a lot of problems, the last thing you need to look for is another church.

You need to stay away from any church for at least a year to clear your mind.

After that, you will be in a better position if you wish to find something that places a premium on order, respect, and health.

Lutherius

"I cannot and I will not recant. Here I stand; I can do no other."

Martin Luther

Ex-Pentecostal Forums
Lutherius' Blog (Archived Essays)
Pentecostal Watchdog Society (Yahoo Allied Group)
derkrash@earthlink.net (My Personal Email)

boustro

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Posts: 4109

(11/25/08 11:17:34)

There are some who call me .... Timmay!

angelag90 wrote:
you know I really feel like i am going to hell i need help finding a church.
I need someone to talk to and i cant check this blog every day.
I am so confused thank you all!

Well, you've gotten some excellent advice here, but no recommendations for a specific church or denomination, per se. If that's what you think you need, maybe some of us can offer suggestions, but I agree with Lutherius (and with my post above! hehe), and really think you should rethink what you think you need!

Nobody's going to hell just because they don't walk into a church building every week!

Tim

feelinit

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Posts: 2

(11/25/08 21:43:27)

I was a gung ho pentcostal that wanted to be a preacher. I made some mistakes along the way and pretty much told I would never make a good UPC preacher cause I didn't follow the rules. I studied the Bible more and found the UPCers twisting scriptures around. I thought I'd go to hell for leaving the church and didn't, instead I became an alcoholic. I've gotten back to church since and feel love not empending doom.

holly

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Posts: 84

(11/29/08 14:16:29)

Welcome feelinit

Methuselah

Still need help?

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Posts: 6

(12/27/08 13:03:38)

angelag90 wrote:
... let me tell you god did alot in my life!

But i have never up held the standards fully. and u know what i did ok. however i cant do it anymore. im tired of hiding things and living my life for others.
I need to taally break away and be confident but i dont know what kind of churh to goto!
any help is appreciated.
be positive tho please

Angelag,
I don't know how you've been lately, but in case it's any help to you, I'll share my thoughts.
From what you've said, I gather that you're OK with God, and still want to have him doing stuff in your life. Well, I don't think this is the place to recommend which church you go to - for starters, there's no guarantee that the sign out front is a true reflection of what's inside. I suggest you take time to read in the New Testament what Jesus teaches his followers to do, and see what his followers did. If you just want to follow him and not some phoney religion, that's the place to start. Don't be rushed. When you look around at all the denominations, I think you'll see that there's a lot of churchianity around, but not many out there just following Jesus. "By their fruits you will know them." So don't sign up for anything that's bad fruit. There are genuine (though imperfect) Christians out there - you just have to know what to look for...and that means knowing what the genuine article should look like.
I hope that makes sense.
Methuselah, the aged.

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