You mean there's others like me? :)

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justme2008	You mean there's others like me? :)	Lead	[-]
Posts: 1 (05/29/08 14:19:43) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Tags : judgmental, in-law, lutheran, pentecostal, convert Hi Wow! Am I ever glad I found this site. I married a man who grew up Pentecostal, but who doesn't feel comfortable in the Pentecostal church. His family is still Pentecostal. They claim to accept me and our marriage...but it doesn't feel that way. We didn't speak to them for over a year at one point because my mother-in-law said we were "unequally yolked" ~ me being "unsaved" and all (I'm Lutheran...drink in moderation...and dress "like that" ~ that being a pair of conservative shorts and a cute properly sized top ~ among other things) and that our marriage is doomed in the eyes of God because of it so my hubby needs to pray for me to be saved. Well, long story short, she claims I lied and that she accepts me and our marriage, but we all agreed that if she had a problem with our beliefs...to take it up with God in prayer...not us. So, two years later...a few weeks ago...she comes to visit and hands my hubby as a gift just for him only ~ in front of me ~ a study bible "translated" by a man who condemns people of my faith and people who live like I do (as someone who sees no problem with an occasional drink) straight to hell. Then, she follows it with a speech about how "young people" who believe in a certain preacher's ministry (which she knows me and my hubby do) are going to be in trouble on Judgment day. I (and my hubby who was in shock over this) said nothing but were both upset. So, now I either live with this offensive study bible in our home or we give it back as nicely as possible and run for cover as WW3 begins with the whole family attacking me for "poisoning my hubby's mind" and refusing my mother-in-law "freedom of speech" because I'm "narrow minded and can't accepting other's differences". I'm here to find out what to do and how to deal with my situation. Be careful in associating with me though as it appears I'm an alcoholic %##+*% who was sent from the pits of hell to poison my hubby's mind with evil. lol It's hard to keep turning the other cheek when my cheeks keep getting judged. grrrrr. Deep breath....happy thoughts....great hubby...2 sweet dogs... Buffett music in hand... in-laws are done with their visit and are 1,000 miles away...literally. Anyhooo...help...and thanks for listening to my rant. signed ~ unholier than Thou
boustro		#1	[-]
Posts: 3502 (05/29/08 14:29:13) There are some who call me .... Timmay! Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	You'll fit right in here, with the rest of us unholy ones! Tim
Taco Fred		#2	[-]
Posts: 776 (05/29/08 15:51:15) exPc Fan Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	One of the best feelings that I have is that every UPCer that I am related to lives at least 600 miles away.
Lutherius		#3	[-]
Posts: 3231 (05/29/08 17:02:23) Happy Reprobate Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Do not allow religious discussions in your house from Pentecostals. They are stupid on the subject of religion and have nothing to add to the subject substantively. Lutherius "I cannot and I will not recant. Here I stand; I can do no other." Martin Luther Ex-Pentecostal Forums Lutherius' Blog (Archived Essays) Pentecostal Watchdog Society (Yahoo Allied Group) derkrash@earthlink.net (My Personal Email)
lozza		#4	[-]
Posts: 2696 (05/30/08 00:32:55) Musical Mantric Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	So, now I either live with this offensive study bible in our home or we give it back as nicely as possible and run for cover as WW3 begins with the whole family attacking me for "poisoning my hubby's mind" and refusing my mother-in-law "freedom of speech" because I'm "narrow minded and can't accepting other's differences". I don't think you should have to put up with this controlling, unpleasant woman. Throw the bible gift away and tell her to leave you and your husband alone. Just my opinion, but I can't stand emotionally demanding people.
justme2008		#5	[-]
Posts: 2 (05/30/08 04:12:10) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts
justme2008		#6	[-]
Posts: 3 (05/30/08 04:27:23) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Thanks for the welcomes everyone. "...I can't stand emotionally demanding people." Neither can I ...or our puppy for that matter. lol You want to hear something heartbreaking, funny and revealing? Here it is. We have two dogs who love to play and yap. The older one is used to my mother-in-law ~ just kind of walks away from her most of the time ~ lol ~ smart girl. Around others it's cuddle time. The puppy ~ well, he's 1 and a half ~ but a pup in my eyes met my mother in law for the first time on this visit. He's normally laid back ~ go with the flow type of dog ~ friendly as all get out. During her visit, he became sad and nervous ~ not like him. So here she is "this one did that...that one is in my doghouse...this preacher is bad....end times...etc..." and this poor puppy is trying to chew his foot ~ something he only did while she was here. Well, guess what happened when the visit was over and they put their bags in the car and left? (Keep in mind we have a lot of visitors so I think the dogs have figured out people leaving with bags is the signal they're gone) Within ten minutes, our puppy starts wagging his tail again, yapping and trying to play with the older dog. lmbo!!!! I know I'm making her sound awful...she's a human being who has many good qualities...great sense of humor...talented quilter...I know I'm being mean as all get out. But dang it ~ that woman and her preaching just ...grrrr...
boustro		#7	[-]
Posts: 3503 (05/30/08 05:13:18) There are some who call me .... Timmay! Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Tim
WildCard39		#8	[-]
Posts: 8634 (05/31/08 14:07:58) ~Momma Oracle~ Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	justme2008~ You poor dear.....Man I feel for you, but you need to get a handle on this like yesterday, before kids enter the pic! Don't put it pass them to go after your little ones with their foolishest. I do as luth said above, I toss it or send it back with note attached, thanks for the gift but it does not fit our belief's ! And I make it very clear while they are in your home to respect your rules, or they can stay in a hotel... No it's not easy, I had to do this with my father in law who was a heavy smoker, he lite up in the house we ask nicely please don't even went as far as putting a sign by the front door, NO SMOKING, yet he kept on until he drop the dang thing and burn a whole into a chair, after that I learned I had to just stand up, yes they went to a hotel, yeah I'm sure they thought I was a bi@3h , fine with me! I wish you the best, sadly they will keep on keeping on until you stand your ground~ ~Unfortunately, humans are a plague-like species, governed by greed and delusions of mythology and self-deluding grandeur.~ SA ~ Well behaved women rarely made history ~ Eleanor Roosevelt "~Faith: not wanting to know what is true." ~ (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche)
Stargv		#9	[-]
Posts: 634 (06/01/08 21:25:56) exPc Fan Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Welcome justme2008, I had a similiar situation except reversed, my husband actually had to leave his lutheran church and become a full born-again, tongue talking, holy rolling pente in order for my parents to let me marry him! lol, Also I am the black sheep in my family and certianly know what it feels like to be judged, right now I am a "backslider sliding down that slope to hell!" Well you know what, maybe I will see you there, I will be selling popcicles so look for me! ha! Seriously though I sympathize with your situation, I have found out lately the more I have stood up and had to get almost down right rude and nasty with my family they are backing off me a bit. There are alot of great people here with similiar experiences who i'm sure can give you some advice. Glad to have you here. Sorrow lasts through this night I'll take this piece of you And hold for all eternity For just one second I felt whole As you flew right through me-Flyleaf
lozza		#10	[-]
Posts: 2705 (06/02/08 00:20:01) Musical Mantric Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	The puppy ~ well, he's 1 and a half ~ but a pup in my eyes met my mother in law for the first time on this visit. He's normally laid back ~ go with the flow type of dog ~ friendly as all get out. During her visit, he became sad and nervous ~ not like him. So here she is "this one did that...that one is in my doghouse...this preacher is bad....end times...etc..." and this poor puppy is trying to chew his foot ~ something he only did while she was here. Well, guess what happened when the visit was over and they put their bags in the car and left? (Keep in mind we have a lot of visitors so I think the dogs have figured out people leaving with bags is the signal they're gone) Within ten minutes, our puppy starts wagging his tail again, yapping and trying to play with the older dog. Clever, sweet puppy. I can just picture him in the situation. I
lozza		#11	[-]
Posts: 2706 (06/02/08 00:20:47) Musical Mantric Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	- deleted double
justme2008		#12	[-]
Posts: 4 (06/02/08 05:26:29) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Thanks for the responses. It helps to have people inn this situation. My mother-in-law and her little group say I'm crazy for thinking I'm not accepted ~ that it's all in my head. She says she knows all about "the Lutheran". I dunno. Maybe there are some Pentecostals who really DO accept those in the Lutheran faith? As for the kids thing...no worries there as we can't have kids ~ which also upsets the woman. She even said one time "kinda wish my son had an illegitimate child out there ~ at least then I'd had a grand baby and he'd have a child". How very Christian of you, mil , to say that shortly after my hystorectomy. Oh yeah...the woman can be a joy. Speaking of joy...something has been troubling me and I'm wondering if this is a Pentecostal thing or a mil thing. She told me one time that my joy from knowing Jesus saved me proves that I don't know Him yet. She said once I get to know Jesus better, I won't be so happy. oooo...k..??? The thing is...I saw the show yesterday that was for this study bible ~ the one she gave my hubby as a "gift" ~ and, frankly it was a no win situation. They were saying people THOUGHT they were saved until they got this thing in their lives and either would kiss the ground you walk on for showing them "the truth" or ~ if they got mad at you ~ it was because they were following false prophets and needed to be saved from that life. Pretty nervy. So, us getting mad "proves" to her I need to be saved and my hubby needs to be re-saved. uuuugggghhh!!! See, ya can't win ~ seems like a never ending circle until we pretend to be her faith. I dunno. All I do know is that this religion is tearing our family apart and they don't even realize it. We had an opportunity a few weeks ago ~ after their visit ~ to move "back home" which she has been praying to happen ~ and we passed it up because if we couldn't take 3 days with her ~ how could we deal with a lifetime of living in the same city? I have to admit though ~ the pup dancing around after she left made that visit pretty worthwhile. lmbo!!!
tylerd		#13	[-]
Posts: 9 (06/02/08 05:50:13) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	It always shocks me how the whole "narrow-mindedness" claim comes from those who are most narrow-minded themselves. Open-mindeness does not imply that you'll accept any and everything with no regard for what's rational or healthy. There's a poem (can't remember the name) in which the speaker says he became so open-minded, he became scatter-brained ie delusional. Always black and white paradigms with these folks, what's that stuff about everything in moderation? You won't change their mind but the best defense, I think, is to be armed with passages and knowledge to counter their specific beliefs and to explain your own beliefs. I wouldn't recommend even doing that though unless specific issues continue to arise from them and the best thing is to tell them you don't wish to discuss religious matters with them. I know, that rarely works and it won't solve the bigger issues. If they're at all willing, finding those safe subjects to talk about, ones you may have in common, is (in the real world anyway) plenty to build a relationship on. Good luck and I know your situation is a difficult one.
lozza		#14	[-]
Posts: 2713 (06/03/08 00:49:12) Musical Mantric Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Speaking of joy...something has been troubling me and I'm wondering if this is a Pentecostal thing or a mil thing. She told me one time that my joy from knowing Jesus saved me proves that I don't know Him yet. She said once I get to know Jesus better, I won't be so happy. oooo...k..??? The thing is...I saw the show yesterday that was for this study bible ~ the one she gave my hubby as a "gift" ~ and, frankly it was a no win situation. They were saying people THOUGHT they were saved until they got this thing in their lives and either would kiss the ground you walk on for showing them "the truth" or ~ if they got mad at you ~ it was because they were following false prophets and needed to be saved from that life. Pretty nervy. So, us getting mad "proves" to her I need to be saved and my hubby needs to be re-saved. I don't think rational conversation is possible with your mother-in-law or people who believe this type of thing. If all the religious talk is tearing your family apart, you need to be firm with her, forbid talk on Pentecostal issues and get rid of that gift bible. My mother-in-law and her little group say I'm crazy for thinking I'm not accepted ~ that it's all in my head. She says she knows all about "the Lutheran". I've met people like this and found them to be very manipulative and controlling.
maurylamm		#15	[-]
Posts: 221 (06/03/08 06:51:26) exPc Fan Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I thought it was odd that she thought you were the close-minded one. I think it would be much more open-minded for Pentecostals to believe that everyone who confessed Christ (this is what my parents taught us, they both grew up Lutheran and changed to Pentecostal soon after their marriage) was a Christian. Welcome, and do the best you can to maintain your sanity. Me, I don't talk about religion with any family members or friends who might go into preachy mode.
justme2008		#16	[-]
Posts: 5 (06/05/08 04:16:23) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Hi again! Thanks for the continued replies. Y'all are so sweet!! Yeah. It's amazing to me how that happens ~ closed minded people are the worst for accusing others of not having an open mind. You know something? Her attempts to save me ~ and God knows who else ~ have actually turned me away from her type of Christianity more than ever. The meanness that comes out of that woman's heart ~ I want to be in an environment of people I aspire to be like and she's not one of them. You know, getting up on my soapbox......my hubby and I were talking last night about this study bible guy and I told my hubby that it's a sad state of affairs when Simon Cowell (the mean guy from American Idol) comes off as a bigger Christian than a Christian preacher. My reasoning ~ while this type of preacher is blaming Africa for Aids ~ saying they deserve it for their sins ~ Simon Cowell is helping to raising money for these people to find a cure. Stepping off the soapbox. Anyhow, for now, I have that study bible in our garage and am really thinking I won't say anything to her unless she asks me or my hubby if we've read it. We've barely talked to her since she gave that gift to my hubby, so maybe she'll get the hint. I think our mistake was in letting our guard down ~ she took us by surprise. If we're prepared for these stunts of hers, we can handle her better.
pdpreach		#17	[-]
Posts: 33 (06/06/08 18:53:28) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	"I think our mistake was in letting our guard down ~ she took us by surprise. If we're prepared for these stunts of hers, we can handle her better." Bingo! Good luck to you on this. Be firm. You sound so sweet and fun to be around. But, stand your ground. Here's another thing to try. Don't try to reason with her. When she says something goofy, just act like you didn't hear it and change the subject immediately. I hope that things get better.
lozza		#18	[-]
Posts: 2726 (06/07/08 00:18:24) Musical Mantric Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Here's another thing to try. Don't try to reason with her. When she says something goofy, just act like you didn't hear it and change the subject immediately. I think this could be an effective tool in dealing with her.
gibson995		#19	[-]
Posts: 1 (07/07/08 13:55:11) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Scripture tells us that "God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power,and of love, and of a SOUND MIND." 2Tim.1:7 (emphasis mine.). No where do we find Jesus leaping around babbling like an idiot, rolling on the floor, or looking under every rock for a demon. The epistles repeatedly urge us to be serious minded, sober minded, dignified, and joyful. As for people running around "binding" and "casting out" demons half of them probably can't even get their dog to come when they call let alone control supernatural beings. That's God's business. Hang in there.
boustro		#20	[-]
Posts: 3647 (07/07/08 14:02:30) There are some who call me .... Timmay! Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Gibson! Tim

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You mean there's others like me? :)

You mean there's others like me? :)

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