Ok, here I go. My name is Christina Myers. I am 19 years old and about start my senior year. I left my Unit Pentecostal Church I believe more than 6 month now.This is my very first forum I ever type in. I dont care if anyone who know me find my name and freak out on me. I am not worry about that any more as I was before. After leaving my church, I never feel so free and safe..And much less panic attacks now... I never realize that I am do afraid of my church whole time. Now the real reason I sign in here, after I left, I cause great pain in my family big time who believe in UPC. Mostly on my mom's side while my dad just get in UPC because of mom. They are happy with their church. That is fine with me, really. It just that during 6 months, not only freedom I gain but also pain in my heart that they don't accept that I leaves. The fights seem to be increase in my family and worse of all, see them begging to come back in believe I am lost or even lecture from my grandma in a letter. I have to try explain to them so many time, till I have so many reasons to not go back..I dont know how to handle this at all, it is over my head. I am coming here hope to find some advice to help me deal with my family and to keep myself sane.