Free will- (SIGH!)... something that is still largely lacking.

It seemed that the sorts of decisions were always on the order of do what I think is best or what I want to do and literally go to hell, or do what the preacher wants and (maybe) go to heaven. That lasted for years even after I walked- but it sort of translated into keep working and barely survive- or stop to enjoy life/rest and end up homeless/without food.

When my health got too bad to do hard manual labor, we did almost end up homeless and went without food/had to beg for food.

I DREAM of being able to make free choices- to choose what I want to do, instead of constantly working-struggling-suffering. I dream of taking a vacation and getting away from this d*mned state!

To be able to do something that we want (without paying an awful price!), instead of always what we HAVE to do.

I must say that it IS nice to not have a church telling us that what we HAVE to do is what they WANT us to do. That DOES lessen the burden a little.