Blackdog, I'm rather like you in that.

I don't want a Pentecostal/Charismatic/Dominionist/Fundamentalist praying for me, because I KNOW they'll substitute what they think I need for praying for the thing I REALLY need. I'm also a bit scared of the imprecatory (sp?) prayers. I feel like my life/our lives have been under a curse for a LONG time, at least as far back as when I walked away (and some of the problems- medical, for instance- go back to childhood).

Also, the same types might get on their high Biblical horses and refuse to pray- and that REALLY hurts. I've asked for prayers for justice FOR us for a long time - and was told by those "types" that (Quote) "Christians don't ask for justice". Then they'd either say "You might get it!" (implying that we deserve worse) OR saying "Christians only DO justice!"

If we got justice for even a TENTH of what we've been forced through, we'd finally achieve something of a more normal and almost un-pain-filled life.

Of course, they all live in their nice comfortable houses with their nice comfortable lives, and don't have a clue.

At the same time, I do believe in prayer. I'm just not so sure that it's heard (or that it's being blocked). Sometimes I get to feeling like the God they preach is the real God, and that God has a massive hate on for me for some reason.

I used to feel that way ALL the time. It drove my "other half" crazy- and only since discovering about the walkaway community and trying to deal with walking have I started trying to leave that "God" behind. It's not been easy.