Thanks Tandc90 - its good of you to say that you know where I'm coming from on the "oh - how could I have hurt that person" front.
My ex didn't believe in the idea of forgiving.
He said it was a Christian con - made up so that the person doing the forgiving felt better.

He was right about alot of things - so maybe that too. The question is, I guess Tandc90, how does one forgive oneself ? By just not going there again I would imagine. I don't know.

Hey there Blackdog - thanks for your post. I haven't been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, but when I looked it up, (having been looking at the subject of boundaries) I thought WOAH....because there in black and white on my screen...was your classic Pentecostal. Even down to the fact that a person idealizes their lover one minute and then swiftly turns around and totally devalues them. (Ring any bells with you and the way your ex reacted to you? ) Particulary, the way that "early disclosure" in conversation was the norm in Pente circles when actually it is a form of mental illness called "collapsed boundaries." And the way that Borderline Personality Disorder people like others to define them.

Well, what is that exactly? Blackdog is your ex just sitting there, taking in all the crXp and letting other define her? Tell her who she is? That is encouraged in Pente circles and that is the state of mind for a person with BPD....

And I read on these boards about how the Pente world is geared towards the worship of the leadership team - which made me look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Those with that one, don't know who they are, unless they see it reflected in the eyes of others. That they have "grandiose delusions" That they have a complete lack of empathy. Very arrogant.

The emphasis from leaders on women being submissive, now looks like pure Narcissistic Personality Disorder.