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nghtmrchld26's posts on 12/9/07
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Re: Deliverance
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RobWood
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Mar 29 09 12:27 AM
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Charliedog, just to put things into perspective, it's been my experience and observation that it's impossible not to hurt people we love. Why? Because in order to truly love - and be loved - the defense shields have to come down. You and he had to become vulnerable in order to truly connect, and because we are human, and imperfect, we screw up sometimes. We mean to love, but we inflict pain, instead. The means we use to do it are irrelevant. If it wasn't religion, it would have been something else. That's just the way life is. But think about this: That connection between the two of you is still there. When we screw up, we need to apologize and make amends. That's a major part of the AA 12-step program, by the way, and it is a powerful thing.
Here's my advice to you, for what it's worth: First get it sorted out in your own mind what you did, and why you did it, and then go and make amends. Seek him out, and if he will let you, explain it to him. Ask him to forgive you. I hate to sound simplistic about love, but true love - whether it's the romantic variety or platonic friendship - will survive hurt that isn't deliberate. You were trying to help him, not hurt him, even though you had been taken in by the pulpit masters' con games. Right?
Rob
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