Rob, I can't say enough how helpful your words are. Many thanks. My mind and heart, body and soul, ache for the pain that I've caused to a decent man, by my involvement with Pente/charismania. The fact that others have had to deal with the "how could I have done that?" is a light in this darkness of guilt. The finality of it is the worst - and the lie that I'm told is "just pray and God will send him back to you." This is bull. I know it is. I wish it wasn't. This "wave a magic wand and The Fairy God will make it all come true..." is a lie I want to be true. It isn't. It isn't. It isn't. We take responsibility for what we do.That's it. There is no magic solution to the pain and destruction that I gave to a decent man.