Looking4truth wrote:
Blackdog-

I could never...in a million years be religious or pentecostal again. My mind has been opened, and it's at a point of no return. I was miserable before, and now I can actually get up in the mornings without "enough prozac to kill keith richards" (lmao at that statement).

I can't believe she would have that fantasy either...I guess it's just her idea of things turning out "okay" in light of a horror story of a situation. But, she doesn't seem to understand that I would not be able to live with her....as to whether I could be her friend...maybe...but it would be via telephone after I moved about a thousand miles away so that I didn't have run into her at Wal-Mart ever! I really do not think she gets that.

Gah...that's what I imagined...that's how painful it will/is/going to be. You describe it well.

There are two main things I worry about (besides my heart recovering--if that's possible)...is how I'm going to be a good mother to my child with a broken/crushed heart...and if I'm going to be able to get through medical school...as stressful and demanding as that is in this mental shape.
They never understand, hon, my ex said for a year that we should stay married but be separated, until we eventually "reconciled" or whatever but still in effect be in some sort of stasis as to the status of where things were for whatever f*cked up reason I don't know. When we used to talk a lot more, a couple of times she needed a place and wanted to be my "roommate" or whatever. Shoot, several months ago when her current situation got really bad and she wanted to get out, I told her I had a roomie. She said "So what?" My roomie is Native and follows traditional beliefs. I am not sure he would mind her presence here, but I sure would because I know how she would treat him (not to mention his drum, regalia, warrior sociey uniform, etc.) She probably go all Marguerite Perrin on his @ss.

More to the point, I told her the spare room was full, she'd have no place to sleep. You know what she said??

I can sleep in your bed.

Oh, and just so you know...I can empathize on another level too...I was going to college myself when all that sh*t happened. I don't know how I made it through, but I did.

Last Edited By: blackdog Mar 21 09 9:05 AM. Edited 1 times.