..and I forgot to mention...that in one of our long conversations about this this week she actually suggested that I return to pentecost with her!!! She has this fantasy in her head that we both return to pentecost, and remain roommates/friends! Can you believe that???

I...of course...reminded her that I'm an atheist...a REAL atheist...not someone who is simply angry so they are "ignoring god" by being an atheist.

I also reminded her...that if I did really still believe down deep...what she is planning on doing to me would be enough to get me to run back to religion....because I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to deal with it when it happens (she talks like it won't happen soon, but she won't promise me anything--I tried to get her to---and she is gone this morning to a pente conference with her mom).

I just don't know how I'm going to handle it. I'm not handling it right now...I'm a mess. I'm trying to be strong, dam*it...I really am. It's not working though.

Blackdog...how did you manage to leave your wife and stay "together"? I just can't imagine!

Pascal wus clever kitteh hu wus laik: "I am not knoin if teh Ceiling Cat is reel." Oh noes! But Pascal was thinkin an thinkin, an he wus laik "If I is beleefin in teh Ceiling Cat, and he is reel, I will be gettin cheezburger. But if I has no beleefin in teh Ceiling Cat, and he is reel, I will be getting pwned. If there no Ceiling Cat, no matter anywai. I think I is beleefin in teh Ceiling Cat."