yep...unfortunately the negative thinking patterns take a long time to wear off...all those years of "God I'm not worthy" and being yelled at from behind the pulpit do take a toll on your self-esteem.

it's a slow process to undo it, but it can be done. I've found that positive self-talk is the key. whenever I feel guilty, I ask myself why. If there's no reason, I remind myself how well I'm doing and tell myself that I'm here, and that those old things are gone in the past.