Creatrix wrote:
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So my question is this: If you were raised in the P/C tradition, would your parents have killed you if they thought God told them to? Did you ever ask them about Abraham and Isaac and what they would do?


I lived in constant fear, as a child, that mother would soon kill me. Without the church, she had the ability. With it, she had the ability.

Since the church was her god, I will answer the other part this way: it did not cross my mind, as a child, that the church might command her to do it, but now, looking back, I know that it would not have taken a second thought for her to do it if the church had told her to -- not even a second thought. She did, however, have many dreams and "revelations" that she claimed were from G-d, and if one of those had been a command to kill her children, she would have -- especially my youngest brother and me, both of whom she saw as "black sheep" and both I believe she hated both of us. I do believe that at times she struggled to love us, tried to love us, but Mother was the most narcississtic person I have ever met; I don't think she was capable of loving anyone at all.

Further, Mother would have violent tantrums in which she would fall on the floor in a completely out-of-control rage, beating the floor, flailing her feet, and screaming. My fear, at these times, was that she would throw me down the stairs -- something she could have done, because although she was a short woman, she had unimaginable strength during these times. My youngest sister and I (I know little about my older siblings' life with her) were used to her throwing emptied drawers and large books at our heads and stomachs. (I was actually THE dodge ball champion at school, because Mother had taught me well! :\ ) She would beat us with a belt until our backs were actually bloody, so for her to kill me would not have been difficult.

I don't remember a time, until I was nine and we moved from California, that I didn't fear that she would kill me with the ax that was always handy. I would look up at that thing, where it hung, and wonder when she would finally do it. Something must have happened when I was too young to remember, because I don't recall not fearing Mother and that ax. However, what Mother enjoyed doing, what she did often, was hit us with knives.

If Mother got angry at us while she was cooking, she would call us over to the cabinet where she was cutting up food, have us put our hand on the cabinet, and she would hit us with the dull edge of the long butcher knife, warning us that some day, she could slip and hit us with the sharp edge.

She was such a lovely, tender mother.

Creatrix wrote:
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And I think a much more difficult question, if you raised your children in P/C, did you ever ask yourself how you would respond to such a test from God?

I reared my children in holiness/pentecostalism, but I loved them far beyond the church. While we toed most of the church's mark (long hair, dresses, no makeup, no jewelry, faithful church attendance, etc.), I Love My Children. I was certainly not a perfect mother -- far from it -- but I loved my babies. When my first husband died when they were ages five and two, we were deep into conversation regarding whether or not spanking and slapping belonged in our home. When he was killed, I knew which direction he was leaning and in honor to him, made the decision right then that spanking and hitting did not belong in our home. I reared my children, then, without it, except for one single incident with my son when he was seven.

No, the church could not have convinced me in any way to hurt my children. I love them beyond measure.
FreeBee