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Now I feel like, as I ask questions and get no real answers and look into others experiences and contradictions in the Bible...etc. I feel like I am in the twilight zone- or the matrix. I'm just not sure which side is "reality". Like a yo-yo.
When I first saw this post I knew immediately what you were talking about but didn't have time til just now to post my previous thoughts on the matter that I reposted above. It's a phase... it's like a rebirth and it can be very scary and painful. Some people I've communicated with say they don't get over it as quickly as I did, but eventually it seems that most do get past it. Read some Thomas Paine. That will keep your spirits lifted during times of doubt... at least it did for me.

Old Fashioned House Cleaning

"And he shall cleanse the house with the blood of the bird, and with the running water, and with the living bird, and with the cedar wood, and with the hyssop, and with the scarlet - Leviticus 14:52