Quote:
I mostly felt numb . . . I was going through a terrible time in my life, and was enormously depressed -- a lot of it dealing with attitudes and emotions my faith had instilled in me.

I felt numb when we left our last charismatic church. I just sat there during that last sermon and cried- I couldn't stop crying. It was like the blinders came off and I saw clearly that what was being taught was false- it couldn't possibly be true. But the teaching itself was designed to beat everyone into submission for their "lack of faith" that was keeping this man (the pastor) from performing miracles and having a mega-church. It was like every sentece was a physical blow. That's when I just realized I was plumb tired out with it all. It was time for me to join creation. I was numb and sad at that time. But that was a little over a year and a half ago.

Now I feel like, as I ask questions and get no real answers and look into others experiences and contradictions in the Bible...etc. I feel like I am in the twilight zone- or the matrix. I'm just not sure which side is "reality". Like a yo-yo.
I'm mortified... petrified... stupefied... by you.
John Nash, A Beautiful Mind