I felt much like Jay. Being raised in the church, I knew no other reality and didn't even imagine that everyone I knew would misrepresent what was out in the "real" world.

First major milestone... My suspicions started growing the first time I snuck out and went to the movies (at around 16) and it didn't smell like smoke, beer and urine and no sweaty dirty old men tried to feel me up. I had pictured in my mind something like how I would picture a smelly old bar full of alcoholics now. I was under the impression that everyone who wasn't in "in church" meaning "UPC" was out to get me and the other young people and corrupt us in ways we would not even be able to comprehend. I still know young UPC women who believe that any man who is not in church is only after their body and wants to do nasty things to them. There came a point where I felt like defending the world against the viscious attacks by some of the preachers, because I knew that a lot of my worldy friends were not quite as bad as some of the people I knew in church.

Second major milestone... When I started working in corporate America, and realized that there were people who were good Christians, yet were Baptists and Assembly of God. They set a better christian example than some of the pentecostals I had known for years.

Third major milestone... when I started realizing that some of the things that had been preached for years would condemn you to hell were nowhere to be found in the bible. ie. - competitive sports, pants on women, alcohol, and many more.

Then I finally realized something that I should have known my whole life. Many times when you ask a question about "why do we believe such and such?" you are pointed to a certain scripture which doesn't actually say that belief specifically, that is just how they interpret it. I used to just take it for granted that everyone else must have a greater understanding of the bible to read so much more into a scripture than what I saw in my comprehension of the written word. Therefore I never argued or questioned any further after they referenced me to a scripture which usually only vaguelly had anything to do with the original question I asked.