I had a lot of troubles at home growing up, I often had physical injuries, unexplained bruises, and severe bouts of depression which were basically ignored, or pooh-poohed away when I would try to get some help or counsel from the church. I sang in the choirs, was a top bible quizzer, and showed up to prayer meetings on my own. They thought that since I was smart, and on fire for Jesus, that I knew better than to be discouraged. that was the devil keeping me down, or it was punishment for not being a better witness to my family.
after years of feeling helpless and looked down upon for being the only member of my family in church, I became suicidal. I took a bunch of pills and ended up in the hospital. After he found out, my pastor came to see me in the hospital, laid into me hard, telling me I would go to hell, that it was a mortal sin against hope and my salvation was at stake. He acted like he never knew how upset I had been, even though he knew some things about my homelife and that I'd stay at different church members houses when things were bad at home. I had even begged a church family that had a foster license to take me in, but they said it wasn't that easy. ( now everytime I see this particular lady, she gets all misty eyed like I'd still be "saved" had I gone to live with her...It sounds mean, but I'm glad she has trouble with it because the rtejection still stings once in awhile. )
but I digress. I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that the young lady's situation could be made much worse if her pastor is anything like mine was....
The things he said to me really cut me to the bone, I don't know how to convery this without getting to in depth, it's pretty personal.
The best thing you can do is just continue to be there for this girl, and hope she doesnt get worse...