I can see how those books would be helpful. In the Apostolic "You are nothing" atmosphere, such encouragement would have been a life saver for me during those horrible times. Sometimes the gloom and doom was so difficult for me, it felt like my mind was splitting -- and I developed this kind of disassociation where I just wouldn't be me for a while.

Growing up in such repressive environments that promote self-loathing and hatred are poison for young people -- who, at this stage, are developing self-esteem, courage, etc. My self-worth was below zero during these times -- if that is possible -- and often, the only thing that prevented me from killing myself was the notion that I would burn in hell for it.

So, yes -- if you're young and Apostolic, and you're passing by this thread . . . don't believe the BS. You ARE worth something, you aren't the worthless dirt your religion says you are -- and do whatever you have to do to help yourself believe that.

It took a lot of reading, and listening as well, for me to heal. It didn't happen as fast -- I was raised on their bile from birth. I still have some social anxieties, but my self-worth is exactly where it needs to be, and it's not for others to define or measure.