They can be so 'comforting' with the family as well.  I remember when my grandma passed away  My Pente pastor's condolences to me went something like this. "I'm sorry about your grandma.  She was such a nice lady.  It's such a shame that she never found the truth and received the Holy Ghost."  in other words - too bad she's in hell-because, of course, if you don't have the Holy Ghost, you're not saved.  So, on top of the pain of the loss of a loved one, there is the additional idea of thinking that your loved one who was not 'in church' is in hell.  It's horrific.