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nghtmrchld26's posts on 12/9/07
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Re: It's as if we never existed...
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BevSheldon
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May 22 12 3:58 PM
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Hooray for getting there, oppressednomore!
Does anyone here have the same issues, but from the opposite side? I think about what I used to be like before I got out, and I can't avoid the word "insufferable." Moving away from that p/c atmosphere coincided with moving away from my hometown after high school, and I became a totally different person. Now I live closer to where I grew up, and I've reconnected to some old youth group friends through Facebook. Several have said we should get together to catch up, but I'm hesitant. I feel like I'd want to apologize, even though I can't think of any specific hurt I inflicted. I'm both embarrassed about how I used to be--which part of me recognizes as kind of ridiculous, since I was in freakin' high school and I was very thoroughly indoctrinated from infancy--and since I know several of them are still really involved in churches (not the one we grew up in, but others), worried that I'll be judged too. Plus I can't imagine sitting around and reminiscing about anything from the youth group days; that period is so associated with pain for me. It's all really awkward, but I don't know how to even begin to answer when they suggest hanging out. And then the old pente guilt, shame, and self-doubt kick in, because *of course* it does, so I worry avoiding the subject will just make me look like that self-righteous kid. That it'll be seen as pretending they never existed apart from superficial Facebook stuff.
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