SoCal23 wrote:
I wrote a blog about this for a friends site (which was a satirical take on the movement) about a year ago and I'd like to share it here, after a little tweaking.

One of the things about Pentecostalism I never understood growing up was why so many pentecostals, especially preachers, were overweight and why this was ok? Some of the most vehement, red faced sermons I've ever heard about drugs and alcohol were from preachers who were one Supersized Number Four away from an oxygen tank and a wheelchair.

“Don’t drink that! You might get drunk!! Don’t smoke that! Know ye NOT that your body a ha, is the temple, a ha, of the Hoooooollllyyyyyy Ghhosttt?!?”

….three hours later….

“Yes I’ll take the 18 ounce porter house, rare, mashed potatoes with extra gravy, and an extra sweetened ice tea. Oh and also the loaded bacon cheese fries as an appetizer, thank you.”

It seems they’ve given our most addictive vice a free pass…

The irony of all of this is the logic stretching and ignoring of scripture.

They’ll preach against alcohol outright when the bible only speaks against drunkenness, with the logic being that drinking at all leads to drunkenness and since they all know that Christians can’t do anything in moderation they have to ban it altogether.

They preach against smoking, which isn’t even in the bible, though they were definitely smoking in that time, and the logic they use, (albeit good logic), is that our body is the temple of God and a gift and they should honor it and not defile it. Makes sense.

They forbid tattooing with little scriptural support (inapplicable Levitical law), on the basis that it is harmful to our bodies, but uuuuhhh… Starting to see the inconsistencies?

They have to stretch scripture, use loose semantics and hyperbole to draw these conclusions, but what about this:

Proverbs 23:2

and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.”

And this:

Proverbs 23:20-21

"Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: For the drunkard and the GLUTTON shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags."

And then there’s all that moderation and self control stuff Paul is always talking about...

There’s not really a point to all of this, just trying to call attention to a humorous hypocrisy. The fast track to being seated from your ministries would be to walk into Applebee’s and order a Corona with lime, but you can eat a 1,400 calorie meal and chase it down with a maple butter blondie and brother I appreciate your ministry!

Those overweight preachers don’t have a glandular problem or a low thyroid. They’re addicts, just like any other addict, and they need help, just like the alcoholic, and should have some accountability.

But this phenomenon isn’t isolated to preachers. Their pews are about a Big Buford and large fry away from needing steel reinforcement. And if it weren’t for Pentecostal women, Lane Bryant would have gone out of business twenty years ago. And the men don’t exactly have LL Cool J’s abs either. Thank God for adjustable waistband pants or they’d be at church in their windbreaker pants and a size 54L blazer!

It just bothers the hell out of me that not only is the obesity given a pass, the men are EXALTED!

When Billy Cole died my friend commented "Well, all addicts gotta go sometime." How true is that? They're addicts. They are just as addicted to their steaks and burgers and desserts as Whitney was to the pipe. It's not just bothersome that they get a pass from the people they preach to, but their PEERS do nothing! This is an epidemic! How can they preach about moderation and then clean out the dessert cart?

I'm sorry, I'm just ranting. It's just sad.

SoCal...
You certainly do have a terrifically hilarious and descriptive way of writing!  I was nodding my head in agreement while chuckling out loud.
....yes,...I always hated the appearance of the sherman tanks all layered and draped in clothing,....
That is exactly why (and I am only 4 foot,..11 inches tall) that I am totally careful to NEVER be like that.  Even when I was in that stuff,....I was careful about what (and how much) went into my mouth.   Eating is the biggest thing for them (well,....after all, it is actually is the ONLY thing that they allow themselves to do).  

Someone comes over to visit?  Eat.   Going out after church?  Eat.   Need something to do?  Eat.   Socializing?  Eat.  Church special gathering?  Eat.  ("pot-luck"  --  "dinner-on-the-grounds")   Need fund raiser?  Make peanut brittle,..bake sales --  Eat.   Someone die?   All gather,...Eat.
 EDIT:  Oh heck!  I wanted to add,...that in the upci,...cooking and serving food is about the ONLY thing they allow women to do  (LOL!!!)

Last Edited By: nitebreez May 18 12 3:15 PM. Edited 1 times.