Going through withdraws...

RSS
Email

0 Kudo

<< Previous Topic Next Topic >>

Author

Comment

melly23

Going through withdraws...

Lead

[-]

Posts: 6

(06/16/09 05:32:41)

Tags : None

Anyone else go through withdraws after you left your church? I was going there for so long and i seen them people two or more times a week and i kind of miss them. It's hard because i know I'm doing right but i feel I'm losing part of my family, even my sister who is in the church is not talking to me like she used to i think our relationship is going to change a whole lot and that makes really sad.

bootsiebabe

[-]

Posts: 11076

(06/16/09 10:24:51)

Bending Light

i know I'm doing right but i feel I'm losing part of my family, even my sister who is in the church is not talking to me like she used to

Why do you think the relationship will change? does that happen when other people decide that church isn't for them too?

"We are all enigma in the circle of life, being ever entwined with creative evolutional progress. All precious to behold for each our differences." -- M. Cheri B.

melly23

[-]

Posts: 7

(06/16/09 10:51:20)

Well we disagree on alot of stuff now. I feel we are butting heads more than we ever have. She is my Sister so i want to see the best for her. I would hate for her to wake up 5 years down the road and think of her life wasted in that church. But i also know that you need to be ready to listen and believe the truth. I think we were so close because we believed the same things but now we don't. Hopefully we can just look past our differences and be like we were. And yes when someone leaves that church people from there treat you like you are a backslider and they kind of snub you.

DiamondGirllovesHarleys

[-]

Posts: 762

(06/16/09 12:49:19)

exPc Fan

Yes I did do that. Sometimes I had to tell myself remember how badly they treated you,don't be a glutton for punishment. I would have to talk myself out of getting back in touch with certain people because I know as soon as I did that all the control would start again.

walkawayarchie

[-]

Posts: 204

(06/16/09 14:14:12)

Cults and their thought control can be addictive. You're functioning in an "altered state"- and that can be very much like a drug.

marla191792

[-]

Posts: 2015

(06/18/09 18:33:23)

Grace Abounds

This is very difficult. We are social creatures and it is hard, VERY hard, to break off relationships with people who formed the inner circle of our community. I still struggle with that, still miss some of them very much. The best thing for me was to start working on building new relationships, new friendships. It helps take the sting out of the loss, especially when your new friends are really, well, friends ... they don't dump you just because you don't agree with them.

www.pentecostalfreedom.org

Lutherius

[-]

Posts: 3997

(06/18/09 18:39:32)

Happy Reprobate

I always say that we must make the effort to make the overwhelming majority of our social relations non-Pentecostal.

Just this step will help out a lot.

Lutherius

"I cannot and I will not recant. Here I stand; I can do no other."

Martin Luther

Ex-Pentecostal Forums
Lutherius' Blog (Archived Essays)
Pentecostal Watchdog Society (Yahoo Allied Group)
derkrash@earthlink.net (My Personal Email)

melly23

[-]

Posts: 10

(06/18/09 18:49:54)

*****they don't dump you just because you don't agree with them.

Yes that is exactly how i feel right now...especially with my own husband. He treats me so different now... I got my hair cut and he will hardly look at me, it just makes me sick. It's like those people don't really love you, they just love you when your following what they think. And also my husband told me that he would look for another church with me but he went to the Apostolic church today and he said he the preacher preached a message just for him and he feels like God wants him to stay there. Now what the heck am i going to do? I feel like we took one step forward and he just took to 5 steps behind me. UGG sorry for the vent :/ And yes Lutherius i would love to get away from these people but i grew up pentecostal most of my family and "friends" are pentecostal i just feel alone it sucks.

walkawayarchie

[-]

Posts: 219

(06/18/09 20:51:24)

melly23- I hope that it works out for you. I admit it doesn't sound good at this time.

That's what communities like this are for. Most of us have been there in one way or another. That church is doing what it can to make you submit. Your freedom and mental health are at stake here.

Tell that a**hole of a husband that he married you- he's going to have to decide if he's going to love you or not (and remind him that the Bible COMMANDS men to love their wives like Christ loved the church), and if he does, he needs to respect you as well AND TREAT YOU LIKE AN ADULT. Oh, and I might also remind him that according to traditional theology, CHRIST SHOWED HIS LOVE BY DYING FOR THE CHURCH.

If he mentions about respecting him- tell him you respect him enough to tell him the truth and to be open with him. Let him chew on that.

It may break the marriage, and it may save it. If he's any good at all he'll listen. If he doesn't- well, he's probably not the person you may have thought he was.

melly23

[-]

Posts: 11

(06/19/09 08:19:40)

Today has been a wonderful day! The hubby and me did a bible study together and God reveled things to us through it. We both agreed that the Apostolic church does not preach the truth of who God is so he has decided to leave with me! I am just so happy that he has finally seen the truth. Thank you all for being here to listen to my vents i do appreciate it!! And please for those who pray continue to pray for us.

walkawayarchie

[-]

Posts: 223

(06/19/09 08:24:11)

That is fantastic news!!! Good luck- and I hope you find peace and a decent place to go.

boustro

[-]

Posts: 4616

(06/19/09 08:53:47)

There are some who call me .... Timmay!

Woohooooo!! Please keep us informed!

Tim

marla191792

[-]

Posts: 2023

(06/19/09 14:54:50)

Grace Abounds

That's awesome!

www.pentecostalfreedom.org

http://unlikelycalvinist.blogspot.com/

tandc90

[-]

Posts: 1187

(06/19/09 15:20:53)

exPc Fan

Wonderful news, Melly!

Taco Fred

[-]

Posts: 1150

(06/19/09 17:24:35)

exPc Fan

I never suffered from withdrawals when I left pente I did not want anything to do with pentes period. I have suffered from flashbacks though.

lozza

[-]

Posts: 3711

(06/20/09 00:15:54)

Musical Mantric

I'm at a stage where I can't cope with zealous pentes/charismatics in any form whatsoever.

so new

[-]

Posts: 152

(06/20/09 12:32:34)

I sometimes hate to think they were so wrong all that time, it would feel so good to trust the church and i have fantasies that some of these other countries will convert and be friends with america and once again the pentes would be right and good and trustworthy. sometimes i get so sick of doubting them and never feeling good about them or close to them that i just long to trust, trust, trust.

geoffreylaw313

[-]

Posts: 431

(06/20/09 13:12:33)

exPc Fan

melly23 wrote:
*****they don't dump you just because you don't agree with them.

It's like those people don't really love you,

Having pentecostal "friends" is like having a "friend" that smokes crack with you. When you're out of crack.....you're out of a friend.

I think it's important to point out at this time that I've never smoked crack. Nor have I ever had a friend that smoked crack.

"Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does." - Jean-Paul Sartre

walkawayarchie

[-]

Posts: 232

(06/20/09 14:12:07)

"Having pentecostal "friends" is like having a "friend" that smokes crack with you. When you're out of crack.....you're out of a friend.

I think it's important to point out at this time that I've never smoked crack. Nor have I ever had a friend that smoked crack."

You know, you have a point.

We had a Pentecostal couple who were "friends"- and who expected us to give something that didn't belong to us to them. When we refused, suddenly they weren't friends any more, and spread the lie that we were rich people crying poor on the "powwow trail".

At the time, the man's part-time job for the government paid far more than I made in my business- and shortly afterward things REALLY went bad.

It caused no end of hard and angry feelings, and although the truth did come out that really were NOT rich, but were truly facing a hard time*, that rumor persisted for years. They had this way about them- always making friends with people, and dropping them whenever those friends didn't always give things to them (even though what they asked for was either needed for survival, or it didn't belong to the individuals they pestered). Funny thing too was they considered a person a Christian based upon one thing and one thing only- if that person was a young-earth creationist or not. Forget how that person treated others. They were friends with us as long as we could be generous with people, but when things got tight and they couldn't get us to rip off our family for them- that was the end of that friendship.

I see that pattern in several "friendships" with Pentecostals now ... not being friends because of shared interests or shared experiences, but based upon "what can I get out of you or how can I use you". That even explains why a grad student I know has tried to maintain some sort of contact with me- because of what I could teach that person.

*(The news that I was American Indian hit the business community around here, and I lost between half and 2/3 of my customers in one month.)

<< Previous Topic Next Topic >>

Yuku free message boards

Going through withdraws...

Going through withdraws...

Quick Reply