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Try turning "their lie" right back on them, they lied to begin with, make them own it, by responding calmly with words that they understand all too well;


" I'm not bitter, that's a lie straight from the pits of hell, & all unrepentant liars will be splitting hell wide open "


Than calmly walk away, do not allow them to engage you in further conversation.

Scribe:

If someone told me I was bitter, I would say, "Yep, sure am. It'd be strange if I wasn't, after what happened. I expect to be bitter and angry for the next few years at least. I think it'll take that long to work through the loss and abuse I've experienced in the p/c church, and to get some healing."

Scribe you're right, when a person first realizes that they were sold a bogus bill of goods it's the initial anger, bitterness that we feel that gives us the courage to say "no more", I'm not taking this anymore, I'm out of here.
But, than that anger, bitterness changes, becomes the tool by which we are able to heal.


There are levels of anger, bitterness that contribute to the healing, recovery process. It's impossible to maintain the high level of anger, bitterness that one first experienced, in fact it can become counter productive, if one is to recover they must move to the next level.

There is a difference between being bitter, and feeling bitter. You still feel anger, bitterness but it is not sustained for such long periods of time, plus the time intervals that one does not experience these emotions in between become a little longer as the recovery process continues. As time goes on we start to move on with our lives, recovery is an on going process with each individual having their own time clock of recovery.

Some people are able to work through the recovery process on their own, the feelings of anger, bitterness is the fuel that moves them along, others though need professional help or they go from being bitter to embittered with prolonged feelings of despair which is not a healthy state, they have not been able to reach some form of closure, they have not been able to move on with their lives, the cycle of depression holds them in it's grasp.

When pentes accuse us of bitterness it's a lie because they have twisted the meaning of "bitterness" to suit their need to discredit us by making themselves look like the victim with us as their abuser. Talk about sick, twisted. Their accusation of : "you're bitter", translates into nothing really happened to you, you're over reacting, you're making it more than it really was, all you need to do is pray a little, everyone gets hurt at one time or other, forgive, move on, you're trying to bring the ministry down, you're showing the ministry in a bad light, you'll cause others to be lost, don't hold the abusers accountable, don't see justice done, let god deal with them, everything will be fine.