I am working through a workbook that is helping me some. It takes the reader step-by-step through the process of looking at actions, responses, etc. The chapter I really stumbled over was the one asking who the voice in my head really is: Mother? Father? Instructor? Pastor? Who? I couldn't think of who is was, because I didn't want to accept who it was, and the answer really irritates me.
My answer was not Mother, because I understood when I was very tiny that she was evil. The answer was not Father, because he was rarely at home, and when he was, he was really only seen as the "baby sitter," because he didn't really know what to do. (I wish the voice had been him, because when I was little, he was very kind to me and a great example.) The answer, I realized to my disdain, was that church. That church is my "voice in my head." I have got to get over that, because they were so WRONG on so many levels. I wanted so badly to say that the "voice in my head" was ME, FOR GOOD NIGHT! But that would not have been honest.
I really need work.
So who is the "voice" in your head at this time?
If the "voice" is not you yet, how do you feel about that? Are you working on being your own "voice"?
If the "voice" in your head is yours, how long did it take for you to acquire that?
Is the "voice" in your head beneficial to you, or is it harming you?
How do you respond when you disagree with the "voice"?
It's such a nice feeling to conclude that I'm reacting like a normal human being!
