My entire family is apostolic. I'll admit my parents are pretty liberal compared to the rest of my family but they still don't understand where I'm
coming from. I'm not really sure what I am right now BUT I know what I've been taught my entire life is a lie. I love my family but I am getting sick
of shaking my head in agreement or just standing/smiling and looking stupid when a family member of mine says something that don't agree with. I want to be
able to speak out; if they're able to say what they believe to be true then I know I should be able to speak my mind as well. But for me, speaking out is
not easy. So here's the question. How do I convey my beliefs to my family that is so passionate about their way being the right way? I'm not trying to
de-convert them and I'm not even trying to start an argument, I just want them to think critically (and listen to what I have to say). Is it even worth it
to share my beliefs?
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How to talk to Apostolic family members?
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 singerc1 |
How to talk to Apostolic family members? |
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Posts: 23 (06/24/08 20:07:36) |
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Looking4truth |
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Posts: 1356 (06/24/08 20:16:06) exPc Fan |
Unless a pente is ready in his/her mind to question it all...I'm not sure if they have the ability to think critically.
Oh, how I wish they did! My entire family on my dad's side is pente too. I understand where you are coming from. My parents are at every service and when they are not having service they visit other churches...so they are in church most nights out of the week. sigh...    My Blog (where I really let loose)
"You can't convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it's based on a deep-seated need to believe." - Carl Sagan |
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lozza |
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Posts: 2790 (06/25/08 00:26:03) Musical Mantric |
How do I convey my beliefs to my family that is so passionate about their way being the right way? I'm not trying to de-convert them and I'm not even trying to start an argument, I just want them to think critically (and listen to what I have to say). Is it even worth it to share my beliefs?Maybe wait a bit. Or develop some mutual ground, like a secular interest, and discuss your thoughts when everyone's more relaxed. |
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Taco Fred |
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Posts: 859 (06/25/08 03:48:21) exPc Fan |
It is really tough to talk to pentes. My mother stayed in the UPC for 9 years after I left it. We had a horrible relationship those 9 years. Talking to her was
like talking to a brick wall. Even though she left the UPC for different reasons than I, it was only after she was treated like an outcast for leaving that she
began to understand how I felt. She and I can talk about the nightmares of pentecost now.
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Conservatarian |
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Posts: 616 (06/25/08 11:40:41) exPc Fan |
I would just ignore them, for the most part. But if they actually come out and ask you what you think about things, you should honestly state your opinions.
Unless you fear that they might kill you as a result. In that case you should tell a bold faced lie. If you can kill in self defense, you certainly can lie. To
quote a cliche, "just speak the truth in love".
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Lutherius |
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Posts: 3259 (06/25/08 18:04:08) Happy Reprobate |
You probably cannot talk to them. I agree with the "ignore them." advice.
The old saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink," does not even apply. You cannot even lead them to water. Tragic.
Lutherius
"I cannot and I will not recant. Here I stand; I can do no other." Martin Luther Ex-Pentecostal Forums Lutherius' Blog (Archived Essays) Pentecostal Watchdog Society (Yahoo Allied Group) derkrash@earthlink.net (My Personal Email) |
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singerc1 |
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Posts: 24 (06/25/08 18:11:56) |
*sigh* I think ignoring them will be best. My mom and I got in an argument today and she's one of the liberal ones so I know I can't talk to the
others.
It's so frustrating. |
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maurylamm |
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Posts: 264 (06/26/08 07:22:53) exPc Fan |
I find avoidance, while not the best strategy in all situations, works pretty well when it comes to discussing religion with my family. It also helps that they
don't bring it up much.
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tandc90 |
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Posts: 393 (07/04/08 10:22:40) exPc Fan |
I take the avoidance route also. It's just easier. Unless they're ready to question you can talk until you're blue in the face. Although one thing
I do is occasionally ask a question they cannot answer such as if God really does create us cell by cell in the womb and sickness doesn't come from God or
He uses it to teach us then how does that explain babies born with horrible painful birth defects? God either does it or He doesn't....it can't be both
ways. The answer either points to a cruel and capricious god or a fault in their belief system. Or both.
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Looking4truth |
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Posts: 1389 (07/04/08 10:52:40) exPc Fan |
Or even better...
When we are in early development...our cells are splitting into hundreds and thousands...any one of these cells could develope into a seperate human being...(blastocysts)...so, with that being said...their belief that the soul is present at the time of conception... We go from having thousands of souls to one? Have them explain that one! It pokes holes all in their "god breathed" philosophy (that is primarily used to be anti-abortionists). My Blog (where I really let loose)
"You can't convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it's based on a deep-seated need to believe." - Carl Sagan |
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stubborn envelope |
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Posts: 1096 (07/04/08 13:07:04) exPc Fan |
When this happens with my family, I, too, just ignore it. Sometimes this works with non-Pentecostal family, too, but I've found that I can much more easily
talk about my differences of belief with the non-Pentecostals, even the fundy ones. The one I'm thinking about just ignores my reasoning, of course, but at
least I can express the idea. I haven't tried to express ideas with the Pentecostals. It would blow their world. They eat, breathe, sleep, and live their
religion.
There are only two times I've really been completely outspoken: when I wrote a renunciation of Pentecostalism and sent it to my former pastor and posted it on my myspace page, and when I admitted to a Pentecostal relative that I am gay (my uncle also knows and doesn't speak to me, the pastor ended up letting him read the renunciation, too.) The only other times I speak about my perspective on Pentecostalism with another Pentecostal is with my friend, Becky, who wasn't raised Pentecostal. I'm trying to push her the last few feet out the door, basically. James |
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HellKat |
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Posts: 58 (07/04/08 23:34:57) |
When I first left the church years ago, I had plenty of sit downs with my folks as well as different clergy men from within the organization, mostly about how
I was so lost in sin that I didn't even realize what I was doing anymore. My own personal advice, from personal experience (granted, not all situations are
similar) would be to listen to their 'sermons' and 'teachings from the bible'. Lectures become redundant and they will realize that they are
getting nowhere with you. For as long as you can bear it, it's simply the best medicine. I'm more tolerable of hearing people babble, and often found
it amusing to watch whomever was lecturing me at the time, to breakdown and ask Jesus to intervene and show me that what I was doing was wrong. My folks are a
little more understanding since they realize that religion can not be forced on anyone, namely their children. However, carrying a rational conversation with a
pentecostal person still practicing the religion seems nonexistant. You can't express your beliefs to them without being asked to pray or feed them with an
explanation. . . hence the advice to hear them out, wait them out, etc. For as long as you can bear it and if that fails, avoiding people in the
church/organization altogether would be an excellent scapegoat!
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