PTSD?

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tandc90

PTSD?

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Posts: 366

(06/12/08 15:51:39)

exPc Fan

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I see this mentioned a lot here. I'm wondering if your religious background caused your PTSD? Have you recovered? Anyone care to elaborate on your recovery or journey or anything at all about it?

I'm sure I have it. I have all the symptoms. Unfortunately the event that caused it is ongoing. I'm in the process of getting away from this situation but in the meantime am going back on my Lexapro to see if it helps me deal with things better. I've been feeling pretty howling-at-the-mood mad lately, as if my mind is about to crack. The irony for me is this very situation is what drove me out of charismania. It's what set me free of the lies on one hand but has me trapped in a different (and more horrible I might add) insanity. Frankly I'd rather be ignorantly crazy and charismatic than what I am now. Not that I'm going back, I just miss the hope right now even if it was false.

Fortunately my past experience with Lexapro was it worked quickly for me.

scribe2007

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Posts: 752

(06/12/08 19:16:18)

exPc Fan

tandc90 wrote:
I'm wondering if your religious background caused your PTSD? Have you recovered? Anyone care to elaborate on your recovery or journey or anything at all about it?

I'm not sure that I have PTSD...but I sure get triggered by stuff, like Christian music, or people complacently telling me "it's all part of God's plan" - and I get out of there fast! So no, I have definitely not recovered from my p/c experience yet.

I'm sure I have it. I have all the symptoms. Unfortunately the event that caused it is ongoing. I'm in the process of getting away from this situation but in the meantime am going back on my Lexapro to see if it helps me deal with things better. I've been feeling pretty howling-at-the-mood mad lately, as if my mind is about to crack. The irony for me is this very situation is what drove me out of charismania. It's what set me free of the lies on one hand but has me trapped in a different (and more horrible I might add) insanity. Frankly I'd rather be ignorantly crazy and charismatic than what I am now. Not that I'm going back, I just miss the hope right now even if it was false.

Wow, sure sounds like a painful situation, tandc90. Especially if you're not able to escape that situation yet...

Sounds like you are taking sensible steps to deal with it. Wishing you all the best as you recover...

DeerF

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Posts: 467

(06/12/08 21:50:29)

exPc Fan

I had suffered with what was apparently PTSD for a number of years, but I can't completely blame the church. My folks chose that church because they already had problems, or they would not have stayed there. The worst of my PTSD was actually caused by my upbringing, but the church definitely played into it.

I didn't really even realize how serious the PTSD was, until my parents showed up (about 1996 or so), unannounced, at a camp meeting I attended. I used to enjoy camp, but that year, I never imagined they would be there. I lived just a few hundred miles away, so I came all the time; they lived well over 2,000 miles away and never mentioned they were coming. When I learned Mother was there, it took me two days to finally go see her there. The camp ground was only about six city blocks, and I spent those first days avoiding her.

Finally, I walked the 40-or-so feet to do my obligatory visit, and my legs became jelly. I almost didn't get through it. It was horrible. That was the last time I ever saw her.

FreeBee

Looking4truth

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Posts: 1257

(06/12/08 23:53:41)

exPc Fan

tandc90-

The best and only way I know how to deal with it is twofold...

Educate yourself! Nothing drives the nightmares stronger than uncertainty. Get your questions answered! Ask questions! Read! Research!

Talk! Get it out...express yourself!

My Blog (where I really let loose)

"You can't convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it's based on a deep-seated need to believe." - Carl Sagan

lozza

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Posts: 2749

(06/13/08 00:12:03)

Musical Mantric

Educate yourself! Nothing drives the nightmares stronger than uncertainty. Get your questions answered! Ask questions! Read! Research!

bootsiebabe

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Posts: 10406

(06/13/08 05:13:25)

Bending Light

I've been diagnosed with it by more than one physician... and I have extreme reactions to things that scare me, especially when someone attempts to force me to face my fears... it makes it worse..

all that to say... some ptsd symptoms include: avoiding people, places, things, situations that remind one of what happened or the things that caused ptsd ... and since I have it ... and avoided things, people, places I was accused of having paranoid schizophrenia... (mislabeled by ones who were not tolerant of anyone they caused harm too, etc.) so yes some of the "religious involvement" caused it but it was further nurtured by sadistic people who liked to force me into situations so they could show their friends and family how scared I was only to proclaim to others that I was schitzo and attempted to force me on medications and attempted to tell others that I was institutionalized in some psych ward for paranoid schizophrenia... which I wasn't...

Now I'm away from them and am living a very happy life around educated people and professionals who can vouch for me and my personality that I am not paranoid schitzo... bi-polar and any other thing they attempted to label me as so they could take my kids from me and attempt to ruin my reputation.

If ptsd symptoms are enough to take children... we live in a sad world. Look at all the people including soldiers with it... how will they be treated in real life situations...

"We are all enigma in the circle of life, being ever entwined with creative evolutional progress. All precious to behold for each our differences." -- M. Cheri B.

lozza

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Posts: 2755

(06/14/08 00:28:49)

Musical Mantric

In the early nineties, I started having audible flashbacks of stuff I couldn't even remember. I was drinking heavily, often in the daytime, and flying into rages on a regular basis. I struggled with phobias too.

Over the years, I've met a number of people who enjoyed playing games with my mind.

bootsiebabe

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Posts: 10413

(06/14/08 05:25:48)

Bending Light

Hopefully you are no longer around sadistic manipulators.

"We are all enigma in the circle of life, being ever entwined with creative evolutional progress. All precious to behold for each our differences." -- M. Cheri B.

tylerd

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Posts: 49

(06/14/08 06:31:53)

I've also had symptoms of PTSD among other things. I don't have much advice but I do know how it feels. Hoping you're doing better and keep fighting. For me, these things cycle and eventually things do get better, so hang in there!

Taco Fred

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Posts: 825

(06/14/08 16:58:20)

exPc Fan

I have had the symptoms also. The events happened to me a long time ago. Last year when I sought out professional help, they therapist more or less blew me off when I mentioned my horrors of religion. I feel there is really a weakness in this area of therapy. There are not too many people out there that realize that spiritual abuse is a real problem.

I Am Legend

PTSD

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Posts: 22

(06/14/08 18:30:43)

Yeah. Diagnosed. PTST caused by spiritual abuse.

Can list 14 meds I was on at one time. Hopefully the Lexapro will work for you. Didn't help me.

Not sure what helps here. PTSD is bizarre stuff. The mind becomes its own worst enemy, re-traumatizing itself in hopes things will work out better this time.

It's a journey. You can't rush it. Something that helps me... when I hear myself say "I should be past this," or "this shouldn't have crashed me." I realize that is denial. When we say we should be over something, we are in essence saying whatever happened was not serious enough to have wounded us.

Truth is, many people f'n kill themselves when they face crap that isn't nearly as bad as what you've been through. So what you've faced, and continue to face.... is a lethal force. You MUST give yourself permission to be wounded... otherwise the mind believes you... it isn't serious... makes the cycle worse.

For the first year out of Pente, I was completely shut down. Rarely got out of bed. Couldn't work. Did NOTHING. I wasn't able.

Now, it's been better than 3.5 years. I'm much better in some ways. But PTSD still shows up at the worst of times. One study says some people can deal with trauma without any symptoms at all. Others can take 5-8 years to recover from PTSD. They believe genetics play a part, but there are also environmental factors as well. Many homeless are Vietnam War vets who never had the option of being treated for it, so the obvious point is that it WON'T just go away.

BTW, get a new therapist. Get ANYONE who gets the PTSD thing. Work google like a hawk... call people who specialize in religious PTSD, and get them to suggest someone in your area. Work your A$$ off finding someone who gets it. That was the main turning point for me. I'd still be in bed 20+ hours a day if I hadn't. Which... of course, would mean by now I would be on the street. And there wouldn't be a thing I could do about it.

I know, sounds bleak. I'm that way sometimes. Seriously, get help. If your "help" doesn't get it, get help that does. The right person can take you a long way in a short time. The right meds can help you cope until the help starts helping.

You can check this board, not long ago I was in really serious trouble. It's been lots of work to make +!%% little progress. But things ARE getting better. You CAN turn the corner. If I can, anyone can.

DeerF

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Posts: 480

(06/14/08 19:36:09)

exPc Fan

Okay. Please be patient with me regarding this post. I have been hesitating to try to write this for several reasons, one of which is that I do not live its ideals. I am not there yet. But I think it can be a goal for those of us who are not "there yet."

Okay. My husband and I have been taking a philosophy class. While I do not swallow everything I learn in it, personally believe little of it especially because it is a class about philosophy, not a class to teach us to think exactly like the philosophers we are studying. But something we talked about recently really struck me. I am sure many of you have thought about this already, but anyway, basically (very basically!) this is what I am referring to:

It is the idea of the "authentic person" and the "inauthentic person." It basically says that the authentic person says "no!" to all manner of escapism. S/he faces anxiety straight-on, understanding that such anxiety can be constructive or destructive, but that mainly depends upon the persons response to it.

The inauthentic person seeks safety, peace at any cost, "normalcy," "average," the smooth road. The inauthentic person is a mere lemur in the herd. This person believes what is expected of her/him. S/he suppresses the desire to excel in order to be ordinary. The ego -- the true self -- is abandoned. In adversity, s/he tends to choose the role of the victim, because it is easy, and it offers believeable excuses. The inauthentic person just takes what's out there, then eventually dies.

The authentic person looks at adversity and makes it work for him/her. The authentic person takes his/her failures, stacks them up, and uses them as stepping stones to excellence. The authentic person refuses "no," refuses boredom, refuses "I can't," refuses to stay in the comfort zone. This takes sheer resolve. It takes refusing to be lazy. It takes taking the first step, then the second,, then the third . . . .

The authentic person looks at what is in her/his hands, at her/his gifts and abilities, and builds them, refusing to just accept what s/he has today. The authentic person will not accept what s/he wants today to the forfeiture of what s/he can have tomorrow.

Now, don't shoot me.

I am not there. I love peace and tranquility, but this is making me think....

FreeBee

Last Edited By: DeerF 06/14/08 19:41:07. Edited 2 times.

lozza

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Posts: 2758

(06/15/08 00:49:50)

Musical Mantric

Thanks, DeerF. Interesting stuff.

bootsiebabe

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Posts: 10417

(06/15/08 09:10:47)

Bending Light

I prefer positive influence.

"We are all enigma in the circle of life, being ever entwined with creative evolutional progress. All precious to behold for each our differences." -- M. Cheri B.

agnosticostal

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Posts: 105

(06/15/08 10:27:44)

you've found a core idea of modern psychology--that of the Self-- who we are underneath all the programming that church and society tries to put us through.

You might find "Healing the Child Within" by Charles Whitfield to be helpful. it details the healing process and getting back in touch with yourself.

DeerF

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Posts: 484

(06/15/08 16:48:26)

exPc Fan

I have read that one. It helped a lot.

I don't know whether it's because I am older or what, but I like the boring life. When I admitted this in the class, the instructor gave me one of those looks. But hey -- when I was young, people used to comment that with all the stuff that had happened in my life, they thought i must have crowded two or three into my time. I used to thrive on excitement, busy-ness, running here and there, things always happening. Now, I just want tranquility.

I am tossing it back and forth: if tranquility, at my age, is what I enjoy, then should I reach out for more just because someone else sees me as inauthentic? I think not. But if I decide that I want more, I can always change my mind!

FreeBee

bootsiebabe

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Posts: 10423

(06/15/08 18:03:34)

Bending Light

Hey, you're not following blindly to the thought contagion /definition of authentic vs. inauthentic.

"We are all enigma in the circle of life, being ever entwined with creative evolutional progress. All precious to behold for each our differences." -- M. Cheri B.

lozza

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Posts: 2763

(06/16/08 00:10:24)

Musical Mantric

I am tossing it back and forth: if tranquility, at my age, is what I enjoy, then should I reach out for more just because someone else sees me as inauthentic? I think not. But if I decide that I want more, I can always change my mind!

Just enjoy what you enjoy doing/being/feeling.

tandc90

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Posts: 368

(06/16/08 13:31:37)

exPc Fan

Thanks everyone for replying and for your honesty. You don't know how much I appreciate that and your well wishes. I'm feeling considerably less anxious on Lexapro and definitely not out of my mind anymore. In fact, when I think of some of the thoughts going through my head six days ago prior to Lexapro I wonder what would have happened had I not started it. I'm going to give the Lexapro a few weeks to get fully working then re-evaluate the possibility of a therapist.

I thought the comments about the authentive versus inauthentic person were interesting. I used to be an authentic one, but this has me so beaten down I prefer peace at any cost. Until I went on the Lexapro I was seriously considering taking up drinking just to escape. And I hate to drink.

Monkey

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Posts: 4

(06/18/08 02:54:34)

Last Edited By: Monkey 06/18/08 03:25:28. Edited 1 times.

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