I was sitting here at work having a certain emotion, when all of a sudden, I thought it was bad and shouldn't have it. Then I realized once again, that I had never felt bad about my emotions until the pentecostals taught me that everyday emotions were bad to have and were invalid. They taught me how to be a fake and a phony, and it is taking me a while to deprogram all of that. I do let myself feel emotions with compassion now, and tell myself that it is a normal part of being a human. But sometimes I get caught up in thinking that they are just "invalid" or wonder how I am really supposed to be feeling.
Isn't it weird that they would teach these things, but yet try to make you feel bad at the pulpit and that you should go and cry at the alter? And then they would teach that you should "act" happy no matter what, but then make you feel awful and bad about yourself and what a "sinner" we all were. And they would make you afraid for your soul, but yet if you were nervous, they would say that is of the devil? They told me that load of crap so many times, that I just became an unemotional zombie at the time.
When I let my emotions go free now days, sometimes it scares me because I had hid them away for years, and don't know how to process it fully. Did anyone else feel that way coming out?
Did anyone here get taught all that hooey?