Isn't it great not to care anymore?

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (walkawayarchie) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 09:34:06 GMT

He does sound like someone who's gone off their medication.

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (blackdog) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:02:09 GMT

charliedog wrote:
I find I just don't care or feel or whatever.. The man I love keeps telling me the most incredible lies and I'm so exhausted from charismania that I don't even care. He can lie as much as he wants. He thinks the secret services are after him. (yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn)

Yeah, I know all about the emotional and mental exhaustion...for a good couple of years...

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (tandc90) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 05:37:20 GMT

Henny, I always enjoy your posts!

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (charliedog) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:51:44 GMT

I find I just don't care or feel or whatever.. The man I love keeps telling me the most incredible lies and I'm so exhausted from charismania that I don't even care. He can lie as much as he wants. He thinks the secret services are after him. (yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn)

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (walkawayarchie) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:08:43 GMT

CaroG87, I relate to trying to please God- or trying to find out why you always seem to DISPLEASE God. Guilt because you're never good enough, and anything you do isn't adequate. It's part of the self-hatred thing I'm fighting tooth and nail.

That's what I feel, although I must say that my head is seriously out of sync with my heart. My heart, sadly, has bought the lies- while my head knows better.

(Maybe that's why they're so anti-education.)

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (charliedog) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 01:04:21 GMT

Henny, this is how you feel right now, and this is how your other half is reacting right now, but the very fact that you can articulate it all so well, is proof that you are moving on...you don't STAY where you are...time heals, people change and that is how it is. The journey that you follow is important and of significance...but sure, we only see through a glass darkly right now... but do you know how many people that you help on this board from your posts? You probably won't ever...

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (Henny Binn) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 17:08:22 GMT

Sorry folks....I was intending to quote Walkaway there in that last post. My reply TO that post begins with "Oh my god"......

I also apologize for the profanity that came thru the censors or whatever that thing is they have that bleeps folks out....

Somehow....I find it easier to communicate with that language when I'm mad....

Again, apologies to everyone.....

Henny

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (Henny Binn) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 17:04:03 GMT

My other half sometimes mistakes my feelings for being anti-Christian. She's had some abuses, but as far as I know, nothing like what goes on in the Assemblies- so she still sometimes doesn't seem to understand the knee-jerk reaction I have to such subjects as "Last Days", "Fullfilled prophesy", and so on, much less the hostility I have to most churches (because nearly all of them within an hour's drive have been steeplejacked). She occasionally gets mad...

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (CaroG87) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 16:43:21 GMT

I think I understand some of what you mean, Archie...... only in my case it was trying to please God, not just the pastor or my parents or anyone else out there. I developed a guilt complex that other people just do. not. understand. .... unless they too have been in that type of situation. And as much as I wanted to be out of there, I wanted everyone to like me anyway. Add a deadly dose of perfectionism -- which I am not sure how much of that was influenced by the church thing or just my own...

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (tandc90) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:25:54 GMT

or from the way they'd amplify already existing problems.

I think this is an important comment. All churches have problems. However, pente problems are those same problems taken to their extreme and abusive limits, and that is the difference in our experiences compared to what I'd call a typical church experience. Most people won't understand and assume we're either exaggerating or simply being overly critical or sensitive. My husband and...

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (walkawayarchie) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 10:10:08 GMT

charliedog wrote:
Henny, you come over as a REALLY fun personality. Somebody who can relate to all manner of people with "Wit and Wine and Wisdom" (T.S.Eliot) - and I do appreciate that starting again is tough, maybe a bit humiliating, but I think that your personality is attractive and that's going to tick every box for people who meet you. They're going to want to meet you again. I look forward to your posts,...

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (charliedog) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 08:13:54 GMT

Yes. And also, the big risk is that they will secretly blame you for the abuse.

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (brainy) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:51:46 GMT

People who have never been a part of a Pentecostal church cannot understand how a church, a place which supposed to be the embodiment of love, can be abusive. At times when I speak about my past I can see the look of disbelief in people's faces because what I mention is not supposed to happen in God's house. I have found many people unfamiliar with pentecostalism think they are just a nice group of people with eccentric beliefs and practices.

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (charliedog) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 05:26:17 GMT

Henny, you come over as a REALLY fun personality. Somebody who can relate to all manner of people with "Wit and Wine and Wisdom" (T.S.Eliot) - and I do appreciate that starting again is tough, maybe a bit humiliating, but I think that your personality is attractive and that's going to tick every box for people who meet you. They're going to want to meet you again. I look forward to your posts, because they hold a real kick, a real depth and are both giving and memorable....

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (RobWood) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:06:44 GMT

Henny Binn wrote:
...Well....I could go on and on as I wasted over 30 years of my life involved with these creeps and I have certainly seen the "endgame" of many a life that has been screwed up by these people. I won't say I've "seen it all" but I've seen a lot and I can attest to you, folks, If you can get out of it....STAY THE HELL OUT OF IT....I struggle every day, folks. I feel like a man...

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (charliedog) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:38:40 GMT

Thanks Henny - the reason that I like Roddy Frame so much is that I sense ( and this is purely a sense) that he has retained a faith, despite early experiences with Pente. When he sings, "Thank you for the moon, thank you for the stars...thank you for turning them on.." it is just such a simple expression of faith. Clean. Far away from charismania.

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (Henny Binn) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Thanks for your reply, Lozza. That is interesting. I remember a bit from it where the Pastor places a child on his knee and does an exorcism on her, and I just thought. "Dodgy.."
The reason that I have the book is because a woman gave it to me under instructions from God to do so. EEEK!

Charlie....I'll be replying to your post after this one later on....

This is one of the weakest things about pentecostalism....and for whatever reason..they see it as...

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (charliedog) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 11:51:05 GMT

Well said Benny!
I guess old Roddy didn't touch your heart. (shucks...but then I haven't been delivered of a spirit of Roddyism)

Benny will you go to the thread about a paragraph of literature, written in a novel by a man I like very much, (and who is indirectly responsible for me being here) because I always value your contributions. Very wise with a bit of a sting! If you have time to do so, I'd appreciate it. But you don't have to....hey...we all know about...

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (Henny Binn) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 06:45:31 GMT

"So is this the guy responsible for that BS? I never heard of Pigs in the Parlor but definitely know all about demons of "fill in blank."

In all fairness.....I cannot honestly say that Paulk was the "creator" of that myth because it's probably been around longer than when his book was published. What Paulk did was move the issue of "demon possession" from outside the church INSIDE the church. Basically, he taught that "born again...

Re: Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (charliedog) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 04:09:52 GMT

Isn't it great not to care anymore?

feeds@yuku.com (charliedog) — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 12:53:18 GMT

Isn't it great not to CARE anymore about converting people, or healing them, or being Christ-like, or going to church, or trying to get people to think as you are meant to want them to think.
I'm sorta falling apart, actually, and its ok. I'm ok with it. I just eat, sleep, walk the dog..I feel like a person who is recovering from something.

Missing my ex, but even with that, I don't feel like I care about anything much - apart...