I'm losing my daughter

Re: I'm losing my daughter

feeds@yuku.com (lozza) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 01:30:08 GMT

Sounds like a good decision, gman.

Re: I'm losing my daughter

feeds@yuku.com (gman) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 15:03:42 GMT

Thanks to all. A lot of great perspectives. I spoke with my daughter and told her I will pay one more month and then sign the car over to her. I told her that she needs to deal with the consequences of her decisions but kept it vague and didn't directly refer to the church. I know she can probably figure out what specific decisions I disagree with anyway. It was a good talk. I think she gets it and I feel a little better. I have faith now that reality will eventually prevail....

Re: I'm losing my daughter

feeds@yuku.com (marla191792) — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 14:47:45 GMT

I think it's a great idea to sign the car over to her and let her deal with the expenses. The thing about Pentecostalism is that people who are addicted to it will only reject it when they are faced with compelling evidence that it is failing. Until they are forced to confront that reality, then it is hard for them to see it as 'failing'. For now, she is very comfortable--Dad is paying her bills, so no money problems for her. People may even tell her (as some have pointed out...

Re: I'm losing my daughter

feeds@yuku.com (Conservatarian) — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 15:17:20 GMT

I think that you should love her un-conditionaly, and keep lines of communication open. If she thinks that you are dissing her because of her religion, it might reinforce what she's been told about the "World". That we non-pentecostals hate them, and want to persecute them for there beliefs. So just let her know that you still love her. This does not mean of course that you must still support her financialy. She's old enough to take care of herself, and to bear the...

Re: I'm losing my daughter

feeds@yuku.com (scribe2007) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:33:51 GMT

Thanks for your response, gman.

gman wrote:
I want to make sure she knows I'm here when things fall apart and leave the door open for her...let her make her own mistakes.

I think this is great. Cos if-and-when the whole Pentecostal experience fall apart for her, she'll need someone! It encompasses so much - it really is a whole...

Re: I'm losing my daughter

feeds@yuku.com (tandc90) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 16:01:41 GMT

Something that may help you is to look up information on cults. The pentecostal religion is very cult-like, and I think you'll find a lot of help in that direction.

Re: I'm losing my daughter

feeds@yuku.com (gman) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 12:38:02 GMT

Thank you Lutherius,
I am going to talk to her about it. I am not literally giving money to her that she's giving to the church. She is just breaking promises to me to get a part time job and help with the costs of her car (which I bought for her). Her insurance is expensive because of her age but having it on my policy discounts it some. My issue is she doesn't have a lot of time to look for a job or keep promises to me but she has all the time in the world to deliver flyers,...

Re: I'm losing my daughter

feeds@yuku.com (Lutherius) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 06:47:42 GMT

gman,

One thing you must understand is that Pentecostals are completely immoral when it comes to money. This is a shocking statement, but you must understand the depths of corruption in this type of church.

Pastors generally DEMAND 10% of one's income at a minimum, and generally call for "offerings" on top of this 10%. Think about that for a while, and you will be outraged at where your money is going.

As someone supporting her, you have the...

Re: I'm losing my daughter

feeds@yuku.com (gman) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 05:37:20 GMT

Thank you for the replies. I'm glad I stumbled across this site and it is a little helpful just to check if my thinking is valid. Wow, the money falling out of the sky concept...that sounds like what they must think. Of course, the pastors had a new hummer fall out of the sky...lucky it didn't land on anyone :-)

Scribe2007, it sounds like you are holding yourself accountable for past mistakes which is something I wish more people would do. Although you may not be able to...

Re: I'm losing my daughter

feeds@yuku.com (lozza) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 03:12:13 GMT

Do you think it's the right move to start cutting her off? I might lose her but maybe I already have. Thank you.

Hi gman,

What a difficult situation.

First, your daughter is still very young and may quickly come to realise that the church is not for her.
Personally, I think the best thing you could do is support her (not financially) as much as possible.

Re: I'm losing my daughter

feeds@yuku.com (scribe2007) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 01:28:14 GMT

gman...

I am really sorry to hear about your daughter.

gman wrote:

The church is getting all of her quality time and I'm paying her bills and never even seeing her.

It's a trick of the Pentecostal church to demand more and more time and money from people, while encouraging them to...

I'm losing my daughter

feeds@yuku.com (gman) — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 21:05:34 GMT

I am extremely stressed out about my daughter's religious issues. I haven't been a religious role model so I was very happy that she started going to church with a friend. I thought it was an odd church but I was happy she was into that and not into drugs. Yes it's pentecostal. They are very controlling and have her feeling as though she is required to give plenty of money to the church. The pastors are fairly well off and as far as I can tell, most of the members...